11 Aug The secret of learning how to change the no of rejection into the ultimate reward – the yes of success.

Rejection. We all hate it; do a lot to avoid it and when it happens the resulting feeling hurts. The pain is a result of a chain reaction. First the rejection sledgehammer drives a “no” arrow thru our core on its way to tear through our hearts, its final target, popping the balloon of our feelings that resides in our brain.

But as bad as it feels, rejection has a purpose. This pain tells us we are alive and it help keeps us alive. Secondly, it is one of our primary feed back mechanisms telling us something needs attention. Unfortunately, most people try to avoid pain, which has profound negative consequences, especially if you want to grow, learn and be successful.

People hide from rejection by avoiding the situations that can lead to rejection. They belong to the avoider camp. Like most people I have been there, done that. Safe, comfortable, low risk it’s a great place to hang out, but in the end this choice will not get you where you really want to go.

So how do you learn to add rejection to the feelings you can live with?

One option is you have to want something so bad that the feelings from not having it overwhelm the feeling from being turned down on the way to getting there. This is the power of necessity, a basic human trait that allows people to survive and thrive against all odds. It can overcome the fear of rejection if you let it.

The second option is creating strategies to reduce the number of rejections and learn to deal with the reduced number you get. This is an easier option for most people.  It requires you getting use to being told no, and more importantly viewing the no’s as temporary roadblocks to where you want to go.

One strategy to do this is using the concept of non-linear progress.

Accept the premise that getting to where we want to go in life is usually not linear. In spite of obvious, most of us wake up, plan, and work to achieve success in a straight-line linear fashion and when it doesn’t happen that way we are upset.

Every day you enter the room (called life) through a door marked entrance and leave through the one marked exit. We just accept this as the right way.

What if you can create a new door to the room, just by thinking differently?

Did you ever go to a hotel room with a door to the adjoining room? That is another way in but it requires you to know the person in that room and have them let you in. This is a lateral move.

And sometimes a lateral move is the best way to avoid or reduce the number of rejections you deal with.  Often a lateral move requires a step backwards to be properly executed.

Think backwards to move forward, how do you do that? Cultivate a relationship to someone who can give you an introduction to the man or woman you want to meet, a potential job, or a potential client.

That is the real power and benefit of a rejection, it makes you change how you approach the goal you want. The no’s are your friend, don’t hate them, cherish them, figure out what you have to do different, think out of the box, evaluate if your expectations are even realistic. That is the secret of learning how to change the no of rejection into the ultimate reward – the yes of success.

Food Porn

My family has a love affair with skirt steaks. I buy them in bulk and then do the butchering. Call it a primitive form of stress relief. The 4 unprocessed steaks in the picture weigh 7 pounds. The first batch I processed is in the background.

It takes a couple of hours to butcher 20 pounds into steaks and fajita meat. There is 5 pounds of waste, plus 1 good meal for the dogs.

Chase did a great job barbequing them working hard to create perfect grill marks. They had that pure, buttery, steak heaven taste!